Heaven Joke

A man died and went to
The Judgment, they told him , “Before you meet with God,  I should tell
you — we’ve looked over your life, and to be honest you really didn’t do
 anything particularly good or bad. We’re not really sure what to do
with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a
decision?”

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I
was driving along and came upon a person who was being harassed by a
group of thugs. So I pulled over, got out a bat, and went up to the
leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced
through his lip. Well, I tore the  ring out of his lip, and told him he
and his gang had better stop bothering this guy or they would have to
deal with me!”

“Wow that’s impressive, “When did this happen?”

“About three minutes ago,” came the reply.

Death Humor

Adam woke up suddenly, sweating all over. “What’s the problem”, asked his wife. “Are you OK?” “I just dreamed that I died!” responded a shaken Adam. “And it was so bad up there, and that’s why you’re sweating all over?” asked his wife. “You bet!” exclaimed Adam. “I got up there, and was right in front of G-d himself, when he suddenly sneezed…..and I didn’t know what to say to him! Whoa was that traumatic!”