It was a few days before
Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back
home. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and
loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas
carols.
Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly
tired, he was not in a particularly good mood. (Almost a scrooge) Going
to check in his luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase
with entirely new clothes), he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real
mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder
parts and green paint on some of the flatter and pointer parts, that
could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way.
With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he
said to the attendant, "Even if we were married, I would not want to
kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe."
"Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is."
"Ok, I see that it's above the luggage scale which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss."
"That's not why it's there."
"Ok, I give up. Why is it there?"
"It's there so you can kiss your luggage good-bye."
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